Blind and Delayed Identification
Leads
Want to write a good lead? One tip that most writers --both beginning
and experienced-- miss is to find out who the story is about and put
that person or group in the lead. Even better, make sure you put a
PERSON into the lead. It is not always possible to do that, but your
stories automatically become more interesting when you can.
The next few writing assignments will require you to put a person
into the first paragraph.
The problem with doing that, though, is that the proper way to introduce
people into leads is to include a full name and some kind of identification
--a title, a description or an address, etc. That can result in long
first paragraphs if the description or title is long. But there are
a couple of ways to legitmately split the name from the title/description.
We'll call them the blind lead and the delayed identification
lead.
With the blind lead we put the title/identification in the
first paragraph by itself. The reader has a clue as to who we are
talking about, but is still blind as to who the person is. Then we
follow up immediately in the second paragraph in telling the reader
who we are talking about.
The delayed identification lead is just the opposite. In the
first paragraph we put the person's name, but we withhold the title/description
(or identification) for the second paragraph.
Actually, the blind and delayed ID concepts can extend beyond just
a person. You can mention a "local company" in one paragraph
and name the local company in the second paragraph if you want. The
concept of splitting the name and identification --in either order--
is a pretty handy tool in newswriting.
Let's see how the concepts work with information from Workbook Exercise
2.14.
First, let's quickly find out what the story is about:
- The Eric Griswold Prizes were announced today. (use
a real day) (so what? why should our readers care? and just what
is the Eric Griswold Prize?)
- Two Northwest College faculty members are the winners.
(ahhh, the old local angle; that's why our readers might care)
- They'll each get $1,000 and a gold medal. (you first
have to explain that they won before telling what they get, so
we won't start with this)
- We learn what the prizes represent. (again, important,
but first you've got to say they won before telling them what
they won for; note that you won't actually use the words "quote"
and "unquote" in your story)
- We learn how their names came to be considered. (old
news, but something we want to include because it answers an important
question our readers might have)
- We find out exactly who the winners are. (obviously an
important element to the blind or delayed ID lead we'll write)
- We find out exactly what they did to win. (we'll pair
this with the reason the awards are given)
- We find out when they will be honored. (the "when"
is important, but don't start your story with it)
So, what is the story about?
I'm telling my imaginary friend: Two local college instructors won
an award for some research they are doing.
And since we want to start using blind or delayed identification
leads, we should go through a thought process of comparing names
with titles/descriptions.
-
| NAME |
TITLE/DESCRIPTION |
| Julia
Trosko Charles Tsui |
Two
Northwest College/local agronomy professors (see directory
at the end of the workbook) |
| Eric
Griswold Prize |
Given
for research "contributing to the welfare of humanity" |
| Griswold
Foundation |
No ID
given, but we have a clue on how it selects winners |
| awards |
$1,000
and gold medal |
Let's try a blind lead.
- Two local college professors have been named as this year's
winners of the Eric Griswold prize.
- In the second paragraph we've got to complete the blind lead.
But note that we also introduced the prize. We should also complete
that delayed ID element. Note that we have included a "when"
element in the first paragraph --have been named-- that is pretty
generic. But it gives us a sense that the story is timely. If
this were a delayed ID lead, we'd put their names in the first
paragraph and withhold the fact that they are Northwest College
instructors until the second paragraph. But let's complete the
blind lead:
- Julia Trosko and Charles Tsui are being honored for their
research "contributing to the welfare of humanity."
- No need to repeat key words like "professor" in the
second paragraph; it is clear that they are the winners. We've
introduced that generic description (name) of why they won. In
the next paragraph we should be more specific for the reader and
complete the delayed ID concept. Also, we might want to tell the
reader what the two teach. We get that from the directory in the
back of the workbook.
- The two agronomy professors have been experimenting with
new varieties of plants that have potential as sources of food
in semi-arid areas of the world.
- And now we'll finish off with the rest of the unused facts.
- The two will each receive $1,000 and a gold medal at a faculty
convocation at the college's Lafollette Auditorium this Saturday.
The prize is given each year by the Griswold Foundation. Nominations
for prizes are submitted by colleges and universities in this
and other countries.
Note that I left out the word "cash" after $1,000. Odds
are that they will really get a check. And even if they get cash,
to say so would make them targets for muggers. In other words, the
word is unimportant when you use the dollar sign. Now, if they were
going to get $1,000 in trading stamps or tax-free savings bonds
or something unexpected like that, we'd need to say so.
Answer and e-mail the following questions to me.
-
Identify the following leads as delayed ID or blind
- A 13-year-old Carolton boy was hospitalized Tuesday
after he ran into the path of a car near Central High School.
- The Athenian Grille restaurant was the victim
of vandals Wednesday night.
- John Page was arrested Thursday in connection
with the burglary of the County Line Liquor Store.
- A Carolton man and two teen-agers have been honored
for heroism resulting from their efforts to save a child from
a burning building last month.
- The 4-year-old son of Carolton police office
William Hazelton accidentally shot himself in the head Friday
with his father's service revolver.
rCameron@cerritos.edu
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