Lists
From time to time you run across a story that requires your to include
a long list of titles or names in the same paragraph.
If all you are doing is including names, there is no problem with
punctuation. Simply use commas to separate each name as you would
in a simple series. Consider the list of names presented in Workbook
Exercise 5.1
- The new officers are Marshall Reeves, Maurice Henderson,
Stewart MacDonald, Harriet Howe and the Rev. Harrison L. Nightengale.
But in news stories you usually want to include some kind of identification
with the name, too. Who is Marshall Reeves? Is it the Marshall Reeves
I know?
A common identification device, though it is sometimes controversial,
is to identify a person by using his or her address. "Oh yeah,
it is the Marshall Reeves who lives on the next block. I thought
so."
When you use an identification along with the name in a series you
usually separate the name and title with a comma. But commas are
supposed to add clarity, not cause confusion. See how confusing
the following is:
- The new officers are Marshall Reeves, 487 N. Grant, Maurice
Henderson, 462 W. Florida, Stewart MacDonald, 345 N. Sherman,
Harriet Howe, 616 E. Wisconsin and the Rev. Harrison L. Nightengale,
715 N. Scott.
Another reason for running a list of names is to identify who has
been elected or selected to a position. This exercise, for instance,
asks you to include their new titles. We COULD place the title before
the name to keep from confusing things even more. Note all the commas
if you continue to put all identification after the name.
- The new officers are Marshall Reeves, 487 N. Grant, president,
Maurice Henderson, 462 W. Florida, vice president, Stewart MacDonald,
345 N. Sherman, secretary, Harriet Howe, 616 E. Wisconsin, treasurer
and the Rev. Harrison L. Nightengale, 715 N. Scott., trustee
The reader MIGHT muddle through that list and understand it. At
least we've been consistent in the order in which we present things.
But punctuation can be our friend, not our enemy. There is another
punctuation mark in the English language we can use to help us delineate
sets in this sentence. What we want is for each set to look like
this:
- Marshall Reeves, 487 N. Grant, president
To separate each set we can use a semi-colon, thusly:
- The new officers are Marshall Reeves, 487 N. Grant, president;
Maurice Henderson, 462 W. Florida, vice president;
Stewart MacDonald, 345 N. Sherman, secretary;
Harriet Howe, 616 E. Wisconsin, treasurer;
and the Rev. Harrison L. Nightengale, 715 N. Scott., trustee
Okay, that is pretty basic. But no one said the tools we gather
for writing have to be difficult. There ARE a couple of things about
this paragraph to look out for, though.
First, we got information from the directory: the addresses, Mrs.
George Howe's first name and the fact that Nightengale is a pastor
and needs "the Rev." in front of his name.
Second, we've avoided a common problem that beginning writers face.
They want to include some sort of punctuation, usually a colon,
that separates "The new officers are" from the list. DON'T
DO IT. The purpose of a colon is to separate thoughts, not join
them. Any punctuation you put there would be superfluous at best
and wrong at least.
Now, if your wording was "The new officers are as follows,"
you would need a colon. Because the wording suggests a separation.
Third, note the semi-colon before the "and" before Nightengale's
name. Now that we have created a complex series, putting no punctuation
or a comma in this place would add confusion. We now need to include
the semi-colon here, too.
Your next assignment will be Workbook Exercise 5.2. It includes
a list, too. But there is something different about this list that
will help us keep the list shorter and easier to read. First, we're
not going to use addresses, because we are using high school students.
It is common under such circumstances to use parents' names as identifiers
in such cases. But we're not going to do that either. We're identifying
them as Central High School students and giving a different kind
of identification that will suffice for this story: what they've
earned college credit for.
But the key to this list is its similarities. In the exercise above
we had only one president, one vice president, one secretary, etc.
In this exercise we have some subject areas where two or more students
who have earned credits. Group those into simple series, using commas
if necessary, and string your sets of simple series into a complex
set using the semi-colons.
And because you have lots of names to use in this story, you are
probably better off with a blind lead. Don't start your story off
with the sentence provided. That's not what this story is about.
The story is about NINE Central High School students earning credit.
Lead with that, then complete your blind lead in the second paragraph.
The information about how the credits were earned and how they may
be applied is of lesser importance to the story, so should be in
your third/subsequent paragraphs.
Answer and e-mail the following questions to me.
- Insert the proper punctuation here: Marshall Reeves -- 487 N.
Grant -- president
- Insert the proper punctuation here: The new officers are: Marshall
Reeves 487 N. Grant president, Maurice Henderson 462 W. Florida,
vice president, Stewart MacDonald 345 N. Sherman secretary, Harriet
Howe, 616 E. Wisconsin, treasurer, and the Rev. Harrison L. Nightengale,
715 N. Scott., trustee
rCameron@cerritos.edu
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