Multi-Element Leads
Most of the stories we've looked at so far have had just one main element
on which to build them. We call these types of stories single-element stories. You look
for and find the most important or interesting item and then feature it in the lead.
But not every story is that simple. Some stories --especially meeting stories-- have more
than one most important/interesting element. Thus, we need to write multi-element leads.
All the important items MUST be introduced in the lead.
The proper order for most single-element stories is to write the lead and then build on it
until you are done in an inverted pyramid style. Or, your
organization might look like this:
-
Lead
+
Body
With a multi-element story, though, your story organization might look like this:
-
Lead
(introduces Element A, Element B, Element C)
+
Brief summary of Element A
+
Brief summary of Element B
+
Slightly longer summary of Element C
+
Summary of other items from the meeting
+
More followup/completion of Element A
+
More followup/completion of Element B
But the first step to writing the multi-element story would be to figure out what
different issue have in common are and state them in one sentence each. (Remember talking
to your invisible friend discussed earlier this semester?).
Exercise 7.6 in workbook gives you an example.
Here we have to separate drug arrests. The fact that they both involve drugs and happened
within a short period of time gives them a comonality, even if there is no evidence that
they are in any other way related.
Your first task is to summarize the two stories in one lead, something like this:
Five men were arrested in two separate drug
busts by Carolton police Tuesday night.
See, it does not have to be complicated, though at some times you have to really
stretch to find a connection.
Take a combination of exercises 7.16, 7.24 and 7.25. While 7.24 and 7.25 are both about
shootings, 7.16 is about a petition served to the city council. But it is a petition to
ban posession of or sale of fire arms to those under 18. That clearly is related to the
shooting in 7.24, but not 7.25.
Still, you have the guns in common. You might come up with something like this:
A 14-year-old boy and a South Carolina man
were treated for gunshot wounds in two separate incidents Tuesday, one week after the
Carolton City Council was presented with a petition that would limit possession of by and
sales of guns to some.
In this story you would then tell more about the gunshot of the 14-year-old (Element A), followed by a summary of
of the Kirby shooting (Element B).
Finally, you would summarize the story about the city council issue(Element C) and how it ties in.
Multi-element leads are common in newspapers with stories about multiple accidents,
weather incidents, roundups, meeting stories, etc. Anything where lots is going on and
each incident is probably not much news in itself, or where the bigger picture is more
newsworthy.
One thing to avoid in multi-element stories is burying key information. Remember the
inverted pyramid in your writing. Do not assume your reader will wade through half your
story to find out what is going on.
A common mistake, for instance, might be the following city council
story (and, yes, I know most of it is gibberish,
I want you to focus on the highlighted areas).
The Carolton City Council met Thursday night
and discussed several financial matters. (Focus on the results of those discussions)
One of the key items was the
issue of raising property taxes to pay for building a new city hall. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit,
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vel illum dolore eu feugiat nulla facilisis at vero eros et accumsan et iusto odio
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facilisi. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam nonummy nibh
euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat.
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vero eros et accumsan et iusto odio dignissim qui blandit praesent luptatum zzril delenit
augue duis dolore te feugait nulla facilisi.
Another financial issue had to
do with whether or not to fund a new project with the Parks and Recreation Department.Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit,
sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat. Ut
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vel illum dolore eu feugiat nulla facilisis at vero eros et accumsan et iusto odio
dignissim qui blandit praesent luptatum zzril delenit augue duis dolore te feugait nulla
facilisi. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam nonummy nibh
euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat.
Ut wisi enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exerci tation ullamcorper suscipit lobortis
nisl ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis autem vel eum iriure dolor in hendrerit in
vulputate velit esse molestie consequat, vel illum dolore eu feugiat nulla facilisis at
vero eros et accumsan et iusto odio dignissim qui blandit praesent luptatum zzril delenit
augue duis dolore te feugait nulla facilisi.
And
still another issue was whether to give pay raises to city employees
next year.Lorem
ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam nonummy
nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat.
Ut wisi enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exerci tation ullamcorper
suscipit lobortis nisl ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat.
While the transitions in the above faux story work, who is going to read that far to
find out about pay raises. Instead, summarize the key issues high in the story, then
tackle them one at a time. At least you've given the reader notice what other items are
forthcoming.
If you have to stretch, too much, though, perhaps the stories should be written
separately, assuming you have control in that decision. Your editor may require a combined
story.
Let me know you've read this lecture by writing and saying, "I read the multi-element
lead lecture." Then complete the stories we've introduced here:
Exercise 7.6
Exercise 7.15 (with 7.24 and 7.25 combined).
rCameron@cerritos.edu
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